Darth Vader-husband, father, creepy stalker

K-so I'm not a Star Wars geek but to me there's nothing funnier than taking everyday situations and putting perhaps the most recognizable villain in them that is Darth Vader. So tell me what you thinking by adding something in the comment box.


Skit 1: What if Darth Vader didn’t die? (This would probably work best as a cartoon skit)
Scene: A little white house with a picket fence and a lawn. Luke and his father have moved to Tatooine to start their lives over. We see Luke sitting on the front porch sulking as Darth Vader wearing blue coveralls over his Black Vader suit and toting a rusty red lunch pail and blue coffee thermos opens the gate and walks up the path just home from work

Darth Vader: Hey, champ. Why the long face?


Luke: Nothing dad, I’m okay.


Darth Vader: Come on pal, Wanna talk about it? (Sits next to Luke on the porch)


Luke: No! I just hate the way I look


Darth Vader: Uh oh, sounds like girl trouble.


Luke: It’s just that girl Leia. I really like her but she doesn’t even know I exist. She only talks about that Han Solo.


Darth Vader: (under his breath, uh-oh) Well…uh…Luke you don’t need her. There are plenty of other girls out there. You’re so much better than her. Hey, who is the best at bulls-eyeing wamprats at 50 yards? You. Who saved Han Solo and Leia from Jabba the Hutt? You. Who brought me back to the good side? You. You don’t need her.

Luke: But she kissed me a couple years ago. Now she won’t give me the time of day

Darth Vader: Uh, Luke? I’m not entirely sure how to tell you this but…um…she’s your sister.




Skit 2: What if Padme hadn’t died?
Scene is set. We see through a window a woman curled up on an upholstered chair wrapped in a quilt reading a book by lamp light. On the wall of the sitting room hanging over the piano is a family picture containing Padme, her husband Obi Won (or Chewbacca) and her two 5 year olds Luke and Leiah.


The phone rings


Padme: Hello? Hello?

On the other end we hear Darth Vader’s signature breathing

Padme: Darth? Is that you again?

Breathing continues

Darth Vader: Uh-No.

Padme: Darth, I know it’s you.

Darth Vader: Uh-No,no. My name is uh, Allen. I’m calling to sell you a magazine subscription to…uh…Death Star weekly.

Padme: Darth, you can’t keep doing this. I got a restraining order on you. You need to hang up now or I’ll call your parole officer

The line goes dead



Skit 3: Darth Vader as a the Spokesman for a Pharmaceutical Company
This is a commercial for a new depression medication. The commercial flashes images of lonely sad people. One is walking alone on a beach; one is sitting by a window looking out into the night with tears welling up in her eyes; a graying man petting his dog on the head looking forlorn; and other such images. Darth Vader’s is the narrator and voice over for these images. His voice begins


Darth Vader: Hey there. Dark side got you down? Feeling like people just don’t understand you? Wonder if it’s really worth it anymore? Like maybe your decades of loyal service to the emperor were a waste? I mean, all you got was employee of the month once and on boss’s day you got a mug that says “Death Star’s best boss” from your employee’s. Ever feel like letting your tie-fighter just run off course and you don’t care which planet it runs into?

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